The Truth

Here is the whole truth of my life. I am really a hippo. This may come as a shock to those of you who know me personally,  but there is nothing more truthful than the statement above. The fact that I weigh a ton and enjoy loughing in rivers has really hindered my life so far. Many unforseen things have happened that I'm sure no one would have been able to guess in the past. For example, I tried to be a trucker at a tender age of 16, but Wal-Mart ended up firing me because the scales always said I had 1,500 pounds more that I was supposed to have. This made it nearly immposible to cross any small bridges and took my worth down quite substantially. The fact that I'm a hippo also affets my regular day to day life in many negative ways. The rasicm I have to endure for having gray and tough skin is alarming. One would think that eveyone but those pompous anglicans would understand and commiserate, but nooo. I recieve some of the most ugly taunting from Asains. I think they believe I'm dumb because I don't have opposable thumbs, but I've shown them! Even though it have taken me 4 hours I've managed to type a blog using only the tip of my tail, which is consequentally considerably raw due to overuse.

Tootles forever, as I've run out of interesting thoughts that deal with hippos in the real world